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They Can't Relate (The Un-Dead)

Posted by rjagilbert on October 31, 2012 at 3:20 PM

Sung to the tune of “Monster Mash”

Twas a restless eve’ in my McMansion bed.

As I lay awake trying to clear my head,

From my hallway walls came an eerie creak.

Then the portraits of my ancestors started to speak.

 

From the dawn of time with a bone in his nose

A primitive man took one look at my clothes.

Opened my closet, his eyes bulged wide: (he said)

“Me spend my life wearing one animal’s hide!”.

 

They can’t relate,

But they’re related to me.

They can’t relate,

They come from my history.

They can’t relate,

Oh how they wish I could see

How different their lives used to be.

 

In a pioneer grave ‘neath the sod and loam

Buried in her apron never farther from her home.

“I raised nine children and a garden each year.

Yet the living value woman by her beauty and career.”

 

Through war and famine and plague and death,

They kept their vows to their final breath,

In an old world fraught with perils and fears.

Now we’re lucky if our marriages last seven years.

 

They can’t relate,

But they’re related to me.

They can’t relate,

They come from my history.

They can’t relate,

Oh how they wish I could see

How different their lives used to be.

 

Skeleton bones wrapped in pale white skin

Come the hungry faces of medieval kin

“Never in our lives did we have enough to eat.

Now you’ve raised a generation who can’t see their own feet.”

 

Great Aunt Marg’ret’s eyes full of tears

Waited for her son, gone twenty years.

His ship set sail and never came home,

Yet I keep track of my kids with a G-4 cell-phone.

 

They can’t relate,

But they’re related to me.

They can’t relate,

They come from my history.

They can’t relate,

Oh how they wish I could see

How different their lives used to be.

 

I tossed and I turned until I woke up my wife.

Pondering our distance from the struggles of life,

We both rose and down the dark hallway crept

Gratefully to where our own Descendants slept.

 

Now little else matters in the timeless scheme.

Down through the ages there is just one theme.

The difference between those who die and who rot

Is whether they choose Ancestor-hood…or not.

Categories: Lyrics and Poems

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